confession 2:
I don't handle failure well/ (confession 3) I over analyze everything.
We had a psychology essay last Thursday on Oedipus Rex and Heart of Darkness.
so, being obsessed with success I studied and studied.. found quotes, read people's views, took notes when he talked about it.. yada yada yada.
He gives us 4 out of the 5 questions on the essay, I PERFECTED (at least I hope) those 4 questions.
so I walk into class... feeling, PRETTY a o.k about this whole essay thing.
the time comes and he gives us the 5th question
"who, what, where, when and why did Frued kill Kurtz'
Now the first thing that came up into my head was.. he must have written it wrong, and meant to put 'Conrad' instead of Kurtz. Because Frued is not the author of Heart of Darkness and therefore has no say about the death of Kurtz.
but nahhhhhh. that was just too simple. There must be something.. anything.. that could make that answer justifiable. So instead of going with my gut instinct and simply writing that Freud didn't kill Kurtz, I decided to go into how Freud uses Kurtz as a symbol of us, and when balanced with the id and the correct amount of civilization the superego... yada yada yada.
As I go to turn in the paper feeling SHAME because I knew it wasn't right.. he takes my paper and my pen.
MY pen...
and draws a sad face.
the NERVE!!! HOW DAREST THOU DRAW A SAD FACE WITH MY VERY OWN WRITING UTENSIL!!
how DARE HE!
does he know who I am!!!!
anyway.. now the best I can get it a B. If I'm lucky.
I hate Freud.
and sad faces.
and did I mention James did no studying whatsoever and got an A?
yea.. I hate him too.
in short, I beat myself up over not going with my gut instinct (which was right)
and cried.
I better get an A in the class.
the end.
2 comments:
Sorry this happened.
I know how hard it is, when you are used to getting good grades, then you go to college and the effort you put forth before, just is not good enough, anymore.
My first quarter at UCR was pretty stressful, and quite the ego blow.
It sucks when you try your hardest, but it is still not good enough.
But, that's life, and even though we hate those people who give us sad faces, be grateful that they are showing you, you need to push yourself to the next leve,
Who gives sad faces in college? What a jerk. A simple B would have been plenty.
marcella
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