Genesis

In a desperate attempt to prove something of myself I have been killing myself to absolutely succeed at everything...

...all at once.

and I'm failing miserably.
eek



I was reading my psych book about how there's three different stages of stress, and somehow managed to be in all three of the stages at once.

And because it's the only thing that's given me advice in a while I decided to take a suggestion, so my dear psychology 1 book..
this is for you.


As suggested, I am supposed to log things that I won't normally tell people for 28 days and see what it does for me.

I guess I already feel a sense of relief,
but I think that's partially because it's taking away from me failing ANOTHER math practice test.

seriously, algebra, I hate you.


anyway...

thing number 1 I wouldn't really tell people:

I'm desperately afraid of growing up.

the thought of not having enough energy, or another chance, the thought of never having the excitement of youth, or the optimism I hold now scares me.

but what scares me the most is wasting my youth worrying about growing up.


it's ironic really, people spend their whole youth trying to find something that's going to be appealing to them when they 'grow up'

and finally when they reach that goal (or at least the age that they should have reached it) they tend to realize that they want their youth back.



why can't we just enjoy our youth while we have it.. and in turn be fully prepares for the adult life?



Thank you America, for your fast pace lifestyle that makes any 18 year old who doesn't know what to make of herself feel like she's behind on the social time clock.


I think I'm having a mid life crisis.
:]






I'd rather dance than talk to you...
so let your hips do the talking.

also, since it's honestly time..

I have an incredible fear of drinking rotten milk
if it's been in the fridge for more than a week. noooo thank you.